prozakistan

A friend of mine, who I always considered a strong Christian has lost his love for Christ Jesus. I am always sad when people who were once so on fire for God can forget who He is and get stuck in their sin. That really is the point... we have freedom from sin and bondage in Christ and its one of the saddest things to me to see Christians and churches stuck in sin. We have power over sin. It does NOT have power over us. Yea, it really is one of the most sad things to me. Please don't giev the devil a foot hold in your life. Avoid sin (I personally pray daily that sin would always revolt me even though it is constant in our lives and surrounding us, no matter how innocent the circumstances.) Pray for your firends that they would continue to seek and follow the Lord and that they would not become tied in bondage that they have power over.

I was reading through my journal from summer the other day and I came across this entry I wrote near the end of summer: Sunday, August 8, 2004

"You are the God of answering prayers! Holy, holy, holy are You and how the Lord has blessed me and prepared my heart for this. May this continue to be yours. Lord, make everything in my life, yours completely. Continue to put peace into my heart as I seek to follow Your will. I look back on all I've written and see how the Lord has heard my cry and come to my aid. He has prepared a table before me, with things I never thought to ask for. Speak peace continually to my heart. Your plans are great, your glory unmeasured and your love ever infinate! You bring joy to my heart and soul..." . lost his love for Christ Jesus]

you run your fingers through my hair, as you gaze longingly into my eyes. you dare not speak the words, lest you somehow spoil the mood. we're both on our knees facing each other, the passion growing, making it almost unbearable. the tension in the air, so intense, burning my skin.

you slowly inch forward, closing the gap between our bodies, tracing your fingers on my face, on my cheek, down my neck, past my shoulders. and i breathe a sigh, so ragged, as i feel blood rushing to my head. you gently lay me down, and i put my hands on your strong shoulders, pulling you closer to me, making your lips touch mine.

and we kiss passionately, tenderly, bordering on ravenous, but there is no reason to hasten the act, so we break apart to take a breath. a single breath is all we need before we lock lips again, with you kissing me fervently, making me ache. you kiss my cheek, purposefully, as if trying to reassure me. to rest my doubts and qualms. i close my eyes, trusting, feel you continuing your kisses, and i feel all my worries lift. you lay your lips on my neck, and momentarily stop, breathing in my scent as if trying to imprint it in your mind. a little kiss, a little bite, i shudder at the sensation; i tremble with anticipation.

i open my eyes to see you looking at me. your beautiful eyes, looking at me, at my body, with love, with lust. my body which i always thought was imperfect, marred by flaws, but through your eyes, i am a goddess. you gently carress my thighs, my hips, my waist, the swell of my breasts, and as you cup each one in your hand, you slowly dip and flick your tongue at the aching bud, one at a time. it takes all that i have from going over the edge.

i return your adoring attention by slowly trailing my fingers across your chest. your skin so smooth, almost impossible on a man. my hands roam down towards your thighs, peppered with hair so manly, it warms my loins with lust. i reach over and squeeze your firm, round buttocks. cautiously, i bring my hands to the front, and close my palms over your throbbing manhood. i marvel at your proud length, commanding attention, and at your impressive girth. i want to stroke you, to taste you, to put you in my mouth. as i lower my head, i feel you stop me. there will be time for this later, what you do not say, i see it in your eyes.

you position yourself, slowly pushing my legs apart, and lay yourself unto me. i embrace your warmth as if my life depends on it, and i circle my arms around your neck, inviting. you feel my readiness, as my moisture dampens your finger. i hear you groan, and we both know that we have to quench our need. as you push, i suck in my breath, and stretch myself further apart to accommodate you. i want to feel everything. i want to feel all of you, in me.

you start moving slowly, purposefully, with strokes so masterful, perfected by experience. undulating your hips, i gape with awe, at how amazing you make it feel. how amazing you make me feel. as i lay on my back, with my legs circling your body, i cannot help feeling helpless, yet powerful in the knowledge that we are sharing and giving each other pleasure.

we kiss, we touch, we move together as one. we groan, we sigh, our moans, in tune, in perfect rhythm of our beating hearts. our hands, seemingly restless, trying to find new places to explore. in a flurry of the moment, almost clumsy, we feel each other.

'baby, i'm coming,' you whisper in my ear. it is all i need to hear. the passion building up till that point, comes gloriously down as my body trembles. i arch my back as blinding stars go off, and you hold me closer trying hard to keep us together as your body shake with your own release. it is awhile before it begins to subside.

as we both lie down to sleep, me in the crook of your arm, and your other arm around my body, i smile, contented. this is how it should be. perfect. [perfect fantasy]

A Kuwaiti girl simply dreams of being an astronaut and be the first Kuwaiti, Arab, Muslim female goes to the space.

My sister screamed at me and said “Do you know when you will be able to live in Mars?! It’s going to be a hundred years after your death! So stop dreaming!” and she walked away.

Been kind of bummed out here. My son is still heavily fighting in Najaf area, and they are starting to move him around again. He lost 6 guys from his unit. His wife's baby is due December 7th. Honeymoon baby. Married four days before he shipped out. Been missing the whole experience. Feel like no one wants to hear it anymore. It is beyond me how so many Americans are so blind to all the death, mutilation, destruction still continuing every day and night in Iraq. I am beginning to be ashamed to be an American. Is everyone so heartless or selfish that they really don't care? I am at a lost as to how to make a difference. All I can do these days is pray that my son comes home alive. I also pray for every soldier over there to have the strength to make it through this. I cry everyday for the losses. [Feeling Hopeless]


This morning I ate some old cinnamon bread that smelled like feet.

This afternoon I ate undercooked chicken that was pink and fleshy in the middle.

Now I'm eating a raisin-free bran muffin.

I've been watching too much TV. I'm feeling depressed again. I was at the dentist and she asked me about my dad and I almost started crying but instead I made a joke. Then they told me that one of my teeth may have to be crowned one day. Then Bush got re-elected. Then the novelty of my new job and my new co-workers wore off today because this job is fucking hard and my Monday-Friday has returned to that bleak blur of days that I was trying to escape. My new job sure beats my old job, but I still feel like crying. Maybe I should stop listening to this Interpol record. It's really good too and I feel like crying cuz it's so good. [two bad apples]

Spc Frederick Allen Jr., 24, from Pittsfield, Maine, a machine-gunner with the 82nd Airborne, from was wounded when an RPG ripped through his left leg and shattered his right leg during a firefight in Falluja on October 31, 2003. He has had 15 surgeries and 7 blood transfusions. This story can also be found in Purple Hearts, a book by Nina Berman, and is available on this website.

It was really quiet and then we heard two booms and an AK and I saw two yellow balls coming at us. It was all slow motion for me because I was hit so it kind of burned an image in my head. It felt like someone had stuck me with a hot poker in the legs. The hit just split it open like if you were to take a hammer to a melon and just smash it open. That’s kind of the effect it had on my legs.

The pain is pretty bad at times, just chronic pain all the time.. I can't drive. I'm on heavy medication. I used to drive all the time. Now my wife drives. It’s hard getting used to the changes. I was always used to doing everything on my own.

Yeah, I feel angry. I've talked to counselors. It helps to talk to people. I wish I could point the finger at one person and just take them on for all the pain and suffering I've been through but there isn't much I can do. I was angry at the people over in Iraq. I don't trust them. I don't like them. I was mad about being over there. I really didn't want to go.

Frederick Allen, Operation Truth, downloaded 31 October 2004